Since my childhood I have been impressed with a phenomenon, of surprising clarity. The light I saw changed with my inner condition. Partly it depended upon my physical condition. For instance, fatigue, restfulness, tension, or relaxation. such changes however, were relatively rare. The true changes depended upon the state of my soul. When I was sad, when I was afraid, all shades became dark and all forms indistinct. When I was joyous and attentive all pictures became light. Anger remorse, posed everything into darkness. A magnanimous resolution a courageous decision, radiated a beam of light. By and by I learned to understand that love meant seeing, and that hate was ‘night’.
I had the same experience with space. When I became blind I found out that an inner space existed. This space also changed it’s dimensions in accordance with the condition of my soul. Sadness, hate or fear not only darkened my universe, but also made it smaller. The number of objects I could encompass within myself with one glance, decreased. In the truest sense of the word, I knocked against everything. Objects and beings became obstacles within myself. Outwardly I could not avoid running against doors and furniture. I was punished very thoroughly and very quickly. Conversely however, courage, attention, joy had the immediate of opening up and illuminating space. Soon everything existed in me abundantly. A great many objects, pictures, beings, I saw a magnificent landscape before me. I knew that this landscape could be expanded indefinitely. In order to achieve this my joy needed merely to become even greater. At the same time my physical adroitness increased. I found my way and moved with assurance. In short there were two possibilities. To reject the world, and that meant darkness, reverses, or to accept it, and that meant light and strength.
Jacques Lusseyran